


No One's Fault

by oncetherelivedaboy



Series: On A Strangers Doorstep [11]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 07:03:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8614297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oncetherelivedaboy/pseuds/oncetherelivedaboy
Summary: Frances asks questions about her father's past and future occupations, and worries she's to blame.





	

School is about to start again and Frances is more than a little excited to be in the third grade, had been ready to start a week before summer ended, had picked out her outfit and filled her backpack, insisted that they make cookies for the first day, and Alex had helped her, Philip babbling in his high chair, barely dexterous fingers picking at the bowl of mashed banana in front of him, giggling when one of the two made silly faces at him. Alex had swapped out his teething ring to a cool one as soon as he’d been strapped in, though he didn’t seem to notice it much, which made Alex smile because it meant he wasn’t hurting. 

The cookies went in the oven and Alex washed his hands before picking Philip up, the baby reaching up for his glasses with sticky hands, giggling when he was instead given the set of plastic keys, and Alex sat down at the table while Frances talked about her new teacher, how she’d come in at the end of the year last year to talk to her new students, how she’d been really pretty and how she wanted to give her cookies instead of apples. 

“Teachers must get tired of apples, and they probably never have to go to the doctor.” 

“Why wouldn’t they go to the doctor?” Alex asked. 

“Because, you don’t have to go to the doctor if you eat apples.” Alex smiled at that as Philip stretched his chubby little arms, when he’d been born he had a little hair but he’d gone bald before long, something that had worried Alex until John told him it was normal for some kids, Frances had been like that, and their hair grew back as they got older. Alex kept him in a little cap to keep his head warm, but his hair had started coming in the last month, little brown curls sprouting from the top of his head, and freckles had started spilling across his face, Alex seeing more of John in him everyday. 

“Even if you eat lots of apples you should still go to the doctor to make sure you’re healthy.” Frances nodded at that, she’d pulled her hair back into a loose braid that morning, Alex still amazed that she’d learned to do her own hair at her age, when he’d been a kid he’d had a love-hate relationship with his hair. His mom had helped him cut it after he’d come out, and he’d kept it short in high school, more to avoid misgendering, though after going on T the first time he’d let it grow out again, as the fear of misgendering dialed back. Being back on it now was a relief, though nothing happened without a barrier anymore, and the shots weren’t the most fun. Starting back up on it had been difficult to say the least, and it would be a process for him to stab himself in the leg. That was until John offered, he knew how to to administer drugs, it wasn’t that difficult, just difficult when you had to do it to yourself, you didn’t have to find a vein, you trie

“Peré?” Frances asked after a long moment. “Why is Daddy in school again?”

“Because he wanted to work a different job, and that job requires he go back to school.”

“Why didn’t he do it when he was younger?” She asks, as Philip tugs on Alex’s shirt, not getting the attention he wants, and Alex adjusts him so that he’s a bit higher, pressed against his chest as he continues to babble. 

“He couldn’t, going back to school wouldn’t have allowed him to take care of you.” She knits her eyebrows together, the same way John does when he’s worried about something.

“Is it my fault that he didn’t get to be what he wanted to be?” Her hands are tucked under her legs, staring at the ground. 

“No honey, it’s not your fault.” 

“But if I wasn’t there he could have been happy before you, he’s only happy because of you.”

“Frances, I promise you that John was happy with you, he loves you so much, you know that right?” She nods. 

“But that doesn’t mean he was happy, he could have gave me up.” 

“Frances where did this come from?” She shrugs her shoulders. 

“I don’t know.”

“Even if your dad had the best job in the world, he wouldn’t be happy without you, you’re his little girl and he loves you more than you can imagine.” Alex opens the arm not holding Philip and she accepts the hug, burying her face in his neck. Alex holds her tight and  kisses the top of her head. She’s too young to be thinking things like that. 

The timer goes off and he lets go of her, wiping at a tear streaking down her cheek, and she smiles a bit. 

“It’s not your fault, ok?” She nods again and Alex kisses the top of her head before setting Philip back in the high chair, where he gleefully picks up the teething ring, waving his hands up and down, and Frances giggles when he throws the keys, picking them up from the floor and setting them next to the sink, so that Alex can wipe them off before giving the back to him. The cookie smell amazing and Alex sets the sheet on top of the stove. 

“Don’t touch it, you’ll burn yourself.” He warns her as he searches for a spatula to take them off the sheet with, transferring them to a the cooling rack. He gets the rest of the dough from the fridge and scoops it into the former cookies place before sliding them back into the oven and setting the timer again. 

“What do you say we have one now, before dinner?” He asks, and Frances grins as he pours a glass of milk to dip the gooey oatmeal chocolate chip cookies into. 

“Can I have a whole one?” She asks and Alex makes a face, like he’s pretending to think about it. “I suppose, but just this once, and don’t tell John.” She holds a finger up to her lips. She’s allowed to have sugar, but they like to keep it on a lower caliber, normally saving deserts for right after dinner, so that she wasn’t too wound up throughout the day and she’d usually burn off the energy before bed, between her playtime and bath. 

The last batch of cookies is cooling when John gets home, Alex cleaning up the kitchen while Frances plays in her room, the baby monitor sitting on the counter next to him. Philip had gotten a little fussy between batches and  Alex had changed him and made a bottle. He’d been out within minutes. John made a point to drop kisses down Alex’s jaw and neck, hands on his hips as they swayed in the kitchen. 

“How was everyone today?” He asks after Alex has kissed him properly. 

“Good, you might want to talk to Frances though, I’m not sure what exactly is going on but she seemed upset.”

“How so?” 

“She thought it was her fault that you weren’t already working as a nurse.” John nods. 

“I’ll talk to her, make sure everything’s ok, she might just be nervous for school.” Alex listens as the footsteps climb up the steps, hears the soft knock on her bedroom door. He’s just finished wiping the counters down when the baby monitor comes to life. He sighs to himself and climbs the stairs, hearing voices in Frances’ room as he passes and goes to pick Philip up, who grabs onto his hair, tugging lightly, and John comes out of the room just as Alex heads back downstairs. 

“Everything okay with her?” John nods, and reaches out to take Philip, who goes happily. John kissing his cheeks and making him giggle. 

John moves forward to kiss Alex gently when they reach the first floor, Philip on his hip. 

“I think it’s got a bit to do with Martha, and it could be that the majority of the attention has been on Philip the last few months.”

“I think she just misses you the most.” Alex says. “She spent most of the summer with me because you had classes, and I’m not griping on you, but you’re her dad and as much I’m there for her, she knows you best, you’re who she’s most comfortable with.” John nods. “Why don’t I pick her up tomorrow and we’ll come back and she can get changed and then you two can go to the park or do something together, it’s been awhile since you two did something like that.”

“God, I’m terrible, I’ve been so caught up with classes and I’ve been leaving you with them all day and neglecting..”

“John, you’re not terrible, and I perfectly fine with taking care of them, I still work, and everything’s ok. You’ve been busy, you don’t neglect either of them, you’re here and you take care of them when you’re here.” He kisses his head, and Philip starts squirming, reaching out for Alex. “You’re amazing, now, give me Philip.” He takes him back. “And go play with Frances, and tell her about the plan for tomorrow. I’m going to start dinner.” 


End file.
